The Invitation

Over the last 3 days, I have been going through one of those periods where I don't sleep much, then when I awake I don't remember much of what happened... But let me start with what happened 3 days ago...

3 days ago I was meditating and I made an invitation to good spirits to come forward and reveal themselves to me and to help me. I knew I was afraid somewhat so I kept telling myself that I was safe and things like that. I was afraid because in previous similar meditations that I have not revealed here, I have been having out of body experiences where I leave my body, while awake in a meditation state of mind. For some reason, I do not fear the obe when my body is asleep but it has been a process for me to come to be comfortable with leaving my body while I am awake and meditating.

So, first, let me go back a little farther to the first ever waking obe which I didn't realize was an obe until recently, although this happened when I was a teenager. I was in a guided meditation with some friends as a teen and in the guided meditation, I felt my body dematerialize. The experience was unexpected and frightening and consequently I felt as though I had no body and basically, I freaked out. I jolted back, stood up and stormed out of the room crying and not understanding what happened. See, I went to a place that was completely white and vast. I had no clue where I was and I wondered if I was dead. I tried to forget what happened and I did for over a decade until now at the age of 29 I recognize what happened, and what dimension I was in because I have since returned a couple times.

So, since that happened, I have gone to that place again. The first time back was just as frightening if not more frightening. It was actually extremely frightening and the most frightened I have been in my life. In a meditation, I went there again. I felt my body dematerialize and I was surrounded by a seemingly empty white void. Even when I tried to reconnect with my body and open my eyes I was unable and I again wondered if I had died being in this white void of light. No one was there that I could see. Just myself in a vast void of nothingness. After that I avoided this particular meditation for several months.

But 3 days ago, I decided to try again to try to more fully understand what was happening. It took me half a year to build up the courage to do this again and return to this place. I needed to repeat to myself over and over again that 'I am safe'. I know on some level that I truly am safe and it is just that I am not used to what happens, how sudden it happens, why it happens, etc but I feel there must be a reason I go there. There must be some understanding there for me and if I can face my fears, there should be some kind of pay off waiting. Something enlightening perhaps. So, I began by praying and preparing myself. My preparation also includes a few days of fasting or modified fasting, following only the most natural of diets. It is a process (although the first time, as a teen, it happened suddenly). To recreate it myself, I need to go through these preparations. HOW I go there seems of less importance because I believe there could be many methods. After deep prayer and before beginning my obe meditations, I verbally invited good beings to help me and guide me. I was still afraid. Part of me had a racing heart and I began to sweat in anticipation and fear of what was about to happen. I literally felt drops of sweat dripping off my body. I was terrified. I knew I needed to face this, as frightening as it was for me. Just before I left the body, more than a dozen beings appeared to me. They surrounded me in a circle. Some appeared human while others had elongated skulls and appeared alien, like the ancient Egyptian elongated skulls. As I looked around the room and saw all the people there with me, I knew that they had all responded to my invitation for help and guidance, and they were all sending me love energy. Just then I felt a pressure on my right hand on the webbing between my thumb and index finger. I could not see who or what was touching my hand. Then, the presence, gripped my hand, holding it, and the very next moment, I was out of my body, surrounded by the love energy of the group of beings who responded to my invitation. During the waking obe, I have some awareness of the body while also being aware that I am or part of me is also in another dimension. The room around me faded to white and again I was in this vast space. Now, I couldn't see any beings with me but I knew they were with me and felt the presence of them. I felt as though I was traveling fast and then I slowed and stopped.. then I saw another being there that appeared to look like a butterfly made of flashing lights. This butterfly being could communicate with me telepathically and showed me what I could describe only as a fluid body of whitish clear sort of water-like fluid. It was source and it was love. I began to cry, overwhelmed by the love I felt. I understood that it was truly divine and I returned to my body. My awareness again in my body, I realized I had cried so much that my shirt was very wet and my face was soaked in tears. I have no clue how long the experience lasted in terms of time. It could have been a minute or an hour. I lost all sense of time.

The next couple nights I barely slept at night, just 4 or 5 hours of sleep and each time I awoke, I felt as though I dreamed but I could not remember what happened. I even had 2 short naps during the day, the same way and again, found it difficult to recollect what had happened. But, then, on the 3rd night, I recognize that there is a being and I am lucid in this plane where it's like I am having an out of body on this plane, I often think of them as 'ghost obes' because I could travel around and walk around in my own home like a ghost. Anyway, during this, I recognize that a being is there and she is working and had been working all along. In this 3rd lucid dream, I had the ability to remember the lucid dreams from the nights before and the naps. Since, in this state, I could remember and I knew someone was there, I called out and I asked, "Who are you?" A female voice replied, "Kristen" and I thought to myself that I was a bit disappointed that it was such an ordinary name and I expected something exotic or spiritual sounding. I asked again if it was Kristen or Crystal and again the voice replied, "Kristen". At that moment, I said, "Who are you, Kristen?" and at the very moment, I momentarily awoke because it turned out that I spoken the words aloud from my body. But, I quickly returned to the lucid dream state and asked again, mentally, "Kristen, who are you?" Then the next reply was with an image of a Canadian flag and the understanding that she was a person. She was once a Canadian person and she was here to help me as a guide. Over the previous nights I remembered that I had observed a massive amount of work being done and this work entailed an elaborate construction of what appeared to be similar to duct work or plumbing or tubes, placed all through my home. Just tubes and things growing like plants or roots all through my home. Not assembled, but growing... Kristen was able to communicate with me but not in the same way as a living person. Sometimes she could use words while other times she sent me images or understanding and she sent me the understanding that what she was doing was to help me with manifestation and protection. She communicated with me other things, which I'd prefer to keep to myself. Sometimes it seemed that it was hard for her to communicate and responses came with a delay while other times it seemed easy and I imagine that is why her communications to me came in various forms. She showed me several images and had me understand certain things. Now, I don't understand everything and I never actually saw her physical being, shape or form. She was more of a presence. I suspect she may have been the one to take my hand. Much of this remains a mystery for me but ultimately, I know that I asked for help and I asked for guidance and I received a clear response. I asked and I received. I look forward to the experiences to follow...

I don't fully understand what has begun or what has happened or how her construction of this unknown technology works. But I know I received a clear and definite response to my call for help. Kristen seems to be the one I have direct communication with but I also know I have seen the others, both human and not and I know I am surrounded by them. It is comforting. Ultimately, I have become far less fearful of this place I go to. This white expanse of light... Do I understand it all? No. I don't. But, I feel a lot more comfortable and I feel much closer to finding out what it is and exploring it again.